therhinestonehawk

  tonight i found out that loss is relative. when my uncle died, everyone around me cried and the mood was dense, but all i could think about were my own insecurities. i wasn't close to him, but i knew him all my life. i let out a couple of tears at his funeral but that was about it. i don't think about him. it didn't affect me. it's strange to me, but also natural, that tonight i feel grief for someone i never knew. i was a huge fan of daniel johnston as a 13 year old, when he died, i felt sad. when tohru okada died, i felt shaken. when sakamoto and takahashi died, i felt sorry. when i found out sayuri died, my brain refused to believe it. i went on to do other things, had a meal, talked to my friend, while that information was waiting for me to pick it up from the ground. when i did, i looked into it, and i'm confident in saying that a part of me died. i'm not the biggest fan of sayuri you'll meet, i didn't even know much about her to begin with, but ...

I: Intro videogames are the most subjective medium out there. they are also the most objective medium out there. a game can be easily identified as bad or badly made, but this same badly made game can be someone's favorite game because of its bad aspects. this is all fine and good, and everyone knows this already (at least i assume), but if games are objective and quantifiable, then there is such thing as a perfect videogame. yume nikki is NOT that. the one review that changed the way i write reviews forever is  tim roger's review of Cave Story , in which he spends the entire readtime circumventing around the subject at hand because Cave Story is so perfect that it doesn't need any reviewing. do i agree with that? yes. very much. however, even though cave story is a perfect videogame, i don't think it is quite THE perfect game. in this essay, i posit that the perfect game is at the tip of our tongues, but we are not quite there yet. yume nikki is a dream exploration wa...

2024 will be the first year in a long time where i won't be releasing an album in the 25th of november. this tradition started in 2021, i think, with the release of "i'm sorry." under the alias "nobody else at the end". according to bandcamp, it was actually released in december 2nd, but i believe this date is wrong. either way, the following year i released my best album, "sometimes i go out in pity for myself", followed by two throwaways: "unassorted dreams" and "when is it going to end?". i released this two albums on that date only because i couldn't bear not to do it, something that can be explained by my ASD. i regret that today since "when is it going to end?" was in the works for a while and i rushed its completion for this release. either way, almost no one listened to these albums. this year, i won't make that effort. i have a fully completed album and a bunch of semi-completed songs that i could rele...

in the 2010s, pop had gone through a notorious and infamous " difficult transition to 3d" . because of the internet and its influences on how culture works, the mainstream failed to maintain or create timeless icons in the way every other decade did. not for a lack of trying, though. the 2010s gave us Lorde, Charli xcx, and later, Billie Eilish. but the internet made time have a disgustingly fast pace where something that happened a month ago feels like it happened ten years ago, therefore, pop artists had a hard time keeping a momentum. a few artists, mostly from the 2000s, kept their relevancy by default, but when i say the 2010s failed to give us great icons, it's because like, my parents know who Bruno Mars is, but they have never heard of Halsey. non-flattering artistic rendition of the writer of this article in their room besides the cultural, the musical also stumbled. in the 2010s, something that was present in the 2000s became the norm, ...