tonight, the moon shines for you
tonight i found out that loss is relative. when my uncle died, everyone around me cried and the mood was dense, but all i could think about were my own insecurities. i wasn't close to him, but i knew him all my life. i let out a couple of tears at his funeral but that was about it. i don't think about him. it didn't affect me. it's strange to me, but also natural, that tonight i feel grief for someone i never knew. i was a huge fan of daniel johnston as a 13 year old, when he died, i felt sad. when tohru okada died, i felt shaken. when sakamoto and takahashi died, i felt sorry. when i found out sayuri died, my brain refused to believe it. i went on to do other things, had a meal, talked to my friend, while that information was waiting for me to pick it up from the ground. when i did, i looked into it, and i'm confident in saying that a part of me died. i'm not the biggest fan of sayuri you'll meet, i didn't even know much about her to begin with, but ...
